Although a marital relationship commences on a good note, it may worsen due to excessive blame and intensity or distance between the couple. It is but logical that both should work towards maintaining a good note. However, an initiative from one partner can make a worsening situation much better.
Communication advice for couples
Nowadays, we are so dependent on technology that it has become a barrier in conversation. Relationship between couples can blossom when there is healthy communication. For this, both can agree to the following precepts. While both are engaged in a talk with each other or their visitors, they should not entertain phone calls from either mobiles or landlines. The same rule applies when they are cooking food or having meals. Now that both have arranged uninterrupted communication, they should communicate in low volume, less intense voice, and moderate speed. Both should also remember that at times, excessive number of sentences can also spoil a relationship.
As communication progresses, both must ensure that admiration must exceed criticism. Although criticism is valued in the initial stages of a relationship, it should be confined to only three sentences as the relationship grows. Moreover, it is crucial to criticize only about the significant issues and simultaneously let go of the minor dissatisfactions.
If either finds that the partner is becoming rude or demeaning, the partner at the receiving end should calmly tell the other that their conversation should be respectful and calm. So, they should cease the present conversation and resume it after the rudeness can be replaced by respect. In such a case, the partner at the receiving end must remember this reason for exit and restart the conversation when respect and calmness is back.
How to please your partner?
A good listener is highly valued in a couple’s relationship. The listener must remember not to interrupt the other’s talk, amend the facts, and make opposite comments. After the partner’s talk is complete, the listener can decide whether to agree or otherwise. Also instead of immediate defense, the listener should plan the defense and a suitable occasion to convey it.
To spice up the relationship, a partner should comment positively about at least two attributes about the other on a daily basis. A relationship thrives if the positive comments outnumber the negative ones.
A very important aspect in a relationship is ‘to maintain the belief on another.’ If you agree to do something, you should act to keep the promise. It is your false belief that even if you do not act, your other contribution in the relationship can compensate.
Apology management advice for couples
If you are the cause for a problem, you should be candid about it and accept the error. This is essential even if you know that your error is minimal. In another scenario, it may happen that a problem is due to your partner and the partner’s error is considerable. Moreover, the partner is unwilling to apologize. The partner’s mind can be working for a non-verbal solution to evaporate the tension, find ways to reconnect, or demonstrate a new place to move towards you. So, you should not point out the non-apology and worsen the relationship.
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The role of sex for a good relationship
In a couple’s relationship, intermittent sex is essential. At a given time although you are reluctant, you can make it a point to engage in sex. Sex is an enlivening essential force for some individuals, and if their partner is unavailable, the relationship can decline. In the presence of a fair, good partner, implementation of this advice is not very cumbersome. At the other extreme, if you are a pursuer of sex, a word of caution is that you should exercise control.
Focus on life outside marriage more
A partner should direct own main energy to live own life and avoid extra concentration regarding the spouse in a worried manner. A person must mix with family members and friends. The person can now observe dysfunctional family patterns and triangles and navigate family-of-origin relationships. Such a person is more creative and less reactive in family issues and can stand on own legs with own partner.
A person should engage in own interests. It is not advisable to let go of own priorities, beliefs, and principles only to please the partner. A person must never adhere to the ‘anything goes’ policy. Another advice is to be useful to people in need.
When you adhere to the preceding, your partner concludes that you are taking good care of self and so the partner has breathing space. If you pursue a partner who wants to keep a distance, the partner increases the distance. So, pursue your personal plans more and lesser on the partner. It has been observed that more the ardor for the life outside marriage, more is the zeal in marital life. A person is more enticed towards a partner who has a life outside marriage.
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